Good times and bum times,
I've seen them all and, my dear,
I'm still here
Plush velvet sometimes,
Sometimes just pretzels and beer,
But I'm here
I've stuffed the dailies
In my shoes
Strummed ukuleles,
Sung the blues,
Seen all my dreams disappear,
But I'm here
I've slept in shanties,
Guest of the WPA,
But I'm here
Danced in my scanties,
Three bucks a night was the pay,
But I'm here
I've stood on bread lines
With the best,
Watched while the headlines
Did the rest
In the Depression was I depressed?
Nowhere near
I met a big financier
And I'm here
I've been through Gandhi,
Windsor and Wally's affair,
And I'm here
Amos 'n' Andy,
Mahjongg and platinum hair,
And I'm here
I got through Abie's
Irish Rose,
Five Dionne babies,
Major Bowes,
Had heebiejeebies
For Beebe's
Bathysphere
I lived through Brenda Frazier
And I'm here
I've gotten through Herbert and J Edgar Hoover,
Gee, that was fun and a half
When you've been through Herbert and J Edgar Hoover,
Anything else is a laugh
I've been through Reno
I've been through Beverly Hills,
And I'm here
Reefers and vino,
Rest cures, religion and pills,
And I'm here
Been called a pinko
Commie tool,
Got through it stinko
By my pool
I should have gone to an acting school
That seems clear,
Still, someone said, "She's sincere,"
So I'm here
Black sable one day
Next day it goes into hock,
But I'm here
Top billing Monday,
Tuesday you're touring in stock,
But I'm here
First you're another
Sloeeyed vamp,
Then someone's mother,
Then you're camp
Then you career from career
To career
I'm almost through my memoirs
And I'm here
I've gotten through "Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis?
Wow! What a looker you were"