can i be honest? - kj-52

What if I spoke w/ complete honest-ness
What if told you that I've broken some promises
I dealt with pride ever since a little kid
I've comprised and I've doubted like Thomas did
I can't hide though he sees the way I live
Every single time I told every little fib
I can't deny cause he's already knowing this
But to my wife I regret the time that I've missed
I've been on the road when I really should've been home
Been on the phone and took calls I should've left alone
I shouldn't have done that see I want you to know
I should've been with you then out trying to get dough
I still got issues that's hard to let go
Still got some bitter situations with a few folks
Still got a temper that I work hard to control
I gotta remember your standard that's the goal

Can I be honest?
Can I be real?
Would they still just to how I feel?
But if I was honest ?
If I was real?
Would they even care about how I feel?

I've wanted to get back at those who tried to doubt me
I've wanted to hit back every time they tried to clown me
I've said some things about those that tried to down me
I've been too hard on some people that's been around me
I'm a workaholic addicted to the game
Plus sometimes I've been addicted to the fame
I look deep inside things that I'm ashamed
Still the little kid conflicted still in pain
I'm so grateful when I think though how you found me
I used to be hateful of everything that's around me
I'm so thankful of the way that you still surround me
So shameful yet you love me still confounds me
See I've put myself first
I've gone days sometimes without reading your word
I've acted like a huge jerk
Yet you still love me that's the thing that I've learned

Sometimes I dumb down to sell a few records
Didn't do it though just to get a little cheddar
But looking back I could've made some of my songs better
Hindsight is 20/20 so I'm like whatever
But I regret some of my broken relationships
No matter how hard I've tried to just make em fit
And I don't blame myself and I'm not blaming them
But too many up in my life have just came and went
I'm not perfect I serve a God who is
I serve a God who lives who says that I'm his kid
When I shoot for the mark but I shoot and miss
I serve a God who gives a new start and he forgives
And takes every thing I ever did
Then he throws it in the sea of forgetfulness
See I'm just being honest I hope your getting this
Cuz he's my promise the reason that I live