firewater joyride - a life once lost

I am repulsed by the lack of dedication
That you insert into this relationship
Could it be that your head is elsewhere
Could it be that you don't care
All I know is that I am repulsed by the effortless
Teeth missing
But death seems so attractive this time around
Excitement grows inside of me
Maybe now is my time
I have decided that the decisions
You have made in this friendship do not exist
Should I be happy or sad
Should we all fall down in prayer
Now is when my decision needs to prevail
My heart
Miles of intestines
A snow-white bone structure all has vanished while I was comatose