pin the tail on the donkey - autopilot off

As I kick myself again,
and I try to pick myself back up again,
Don't want to make the same mistakes.
Always the first with an excuse,
but it's when you're cornered by the truth.
Sometimes it's easier that way.
As you turn away
When realization stares you down,
And you swear you've come to terms, I'm wary.
I've seen it all too many times.
It never made much sense,
So I always had to stop and second guess.
Defeat myself before I start.
Comfort seems so far away.
Peace of mind is just a luxury.
Forgetting is the hardest part.
It's not what you say that matters,
because anyone can say those words to me.
You say I lack compassion,
but that's when my first reaction
isn't how you wanted me to be.
As I kick myself again,
and I try to pick myself back up again.
Don't want to make the same mistakes