schizophrenia (mental suicide) - alastis

I think of death as if it`s near
Plan my future as if it`s doesn`t exist
I`d like to die without having lived
Disappear without regret nor joy
Death is perhaps a delivery
Nobody`s never managed to prove it
I`d like to have no future
Kill without remorse even friends
Be an animal without faith nor law
Mad, I begin to be mad
I feel my nerves that are cracking
I want to weep and to laugh
An interior force pushes me to suicide
An other one pushes me to folly
I think of death as if it`s near
Project my future as if it doesn`t exist...